Steel Panther – All You Can Eat (Very Explicit)

Known for their raunchy style of music – taking hair metal and getting rid of all innuendos – Steel Panther has made their return to the studio, concocting their fourth studio record titled All You Can Eat. The song titles are bolder, the musicianship is tighter and heavier, and Steel Panther remains the epicenter of modern hair metal, making it almost cool again.

Hair metal was known for being pop-sounding metal music, combining good looks with a dirty attitude. Many of the great hair metal songs were about girls and sex, and Steel Panther is no exception. However, they get rid of the lyrical wall of innuendos: instead of hiding the meaning underneath the words, they come right at you with what they are trying to say. It’s both hilarious and disgusting, and yet it works.

The musicianship behind Steel Panther is impressive. You have Michael Starr on vocals, emulating front man David Lee Roth almost perfectly at times, and reaching his own vocal prowess at others. Satchel is blazing fast on the guitar and his riffs are very memorable. Lexxi Foxx is a great bassist in his own right, keeping the backbone of the band in tempo. And Stix Zadinia is a damn good drummer, holding down the fort.

Now, onto the album itself.  the song titles are all pretty explicit (as is the majority of the album), and thus will be censored. Plus, each song title does give way to what the song is about: these guys don’t play around. “P***ywhipped” begins with a slow acoustical piece with a little pinch of flute included before blasting right into a hard rocker. The riffs for this song are magnificent and open the album in the best way. The vocals of course are epic and high pitched, the bass and drums provide the best backing possible. the song itself is about a guy who is “whipped” by his girlfriend, with the lyrics explicitly explaining this phenomenon to the audience. Again, while these guys are a parody of 80s bands, you can instantly hear the excellent musicianship displayed by each member.

Next is the first single: “Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World,” a song about just that. Banging as many chicks, doing as many drugs as possible, throwing the most awesome party. It’s a very anthemic party song, with the backing vocals consisting of “Yeah!” You’ll be singing along and head banging appropriately as you listen. The guitar solo here from Satchel is one of his best, and it really shows off his skills.

“Gloryhole” is self-explanatory. The drumming here is excellent, with a bass drum riff that I love, the guitar and bass are heavy and kicking, and Michael’s vocals are on point. The bridge of the song had an amazing contrast to the main song. The lyrics are, in my opinion, hilarious and crude, and this might be one of Steel Panther’s best songs yet. “Buk**** Tears” is also quite self-explanatory. It’s a power ballad in every sense of the word, combining slow acoustics with heavy guitars, making for an interesting song. Again, the lyrics are crude and… well, very crude.

“Gang**** At the Old Folks Home” has a great guitar riff combined with excellent solos from Satchel and guest Vivian Campbell, and Michael’s Roth-like screams are pinpoint. The bass is heavy and provides quite a punch to this slow tempo song. “Ten Strikes You’re Out” contains a bluesy guitar riff that’s pumping, driving the song to metal perfection. Yet another Steel Panther classic, featuring everything that makes the band awesome: riffs, solos, heavy bass/drum backbone, and over the top vocals.

“The Burden of Being Wonderful” is a slow, and also anthemic song featuring a cello/keyboard in the main riff and bridge and great musicianship throughout. The lead and backing vocals are perfectly driving the song, and the lyrical content is hilarious. This may be my favorite off the album. “F*****g My Heart in the Ass” brings back the heavy, although it’s a weaker song compared to the previous rockers. It’s more repetitive lyrically than other songs, and brings nothing new to the table.

“B.V.S” has lyrics that are unexpected and funny, through maybe a little over the top. Still, it’s a great song regardless. The chorus is rocking and something you’ll head bang to every time. “You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk” is another more ballad-like song, with a powerful bass line driving the song along, and lyrics that can potentially ring true for some listeners, funny enough.

“If I Was The King” has yet another amazing Satchel riff and even more Michael vocals that are out of this world. The lyrics are some of the best yet, being very realistic compared to others, and still funny. The bridge, driven by more Lexxi Foxx bass, is rocking, and the Satchel solo is great. Finally, you have “She’s On the Rag” a more keyboard driven song that almost juxtaposes the rest of the album in the best way possible. It’s easily the perfect song they could have used to end the album.

Overall, this album is one of the best new albums I’ve heard in a long time. Besides one or two weaker spots, this album is tight and rocking throughout. The production is great, the musicianship is excellent, the lyrics are just as crude as ever, and everything about it just rocks. For a parody band, these guys have a load of talent, and it’s on full display here.

I rate this album a 4/5. Great album in my opinion.

KISS – KISS Debut Album

In celebration of the legendary band being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I want to take a look back at KISS’s promising debut album. Released all the way back in 1974, this album has stood the test of time and paved the way for other artists to succeed.

While KISS was never a band that would blow anyone away with their musicianship, they had a stage presence – combining explosives and makeup – that made them both mysterious and intense. Plus, they did have solid musicians in bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons, vocalist/guitarist Paul Stanley, guitarist Ace Frehley, and drummer/vocalist Peter Criss.

Two things to note before getting into the album. One: in studio, KISS was not a very heavy sounding band. Their songs are slow paced and very loose compared to live cuts of songs where they layer on the heavy. They are much better live than in studio on the first three albums. Second, they take a “Beatles” approach to the music in terms of singers. Paul and Gene handle most of the vocal duties, but Peter gets his fair share of vocals in there.

The album begins with a quick tom drum count in to “Strutter,” one of the heavier sounding songs on the album, and one of my favorites. Its up-tempo beat, combined with an amazingly beautiful chorus marks what makes KISS great: anyone can sing along and have fun doing so. Plus, you’d be surprised at the vocal range that both Paul and Gene have in their early days. “Strutter” introduces the solo style of Ace Frehley, and instantly one could tell that he has skills. Both melodic and technical, the solos in “Strutter” are fantastic and cap off a wild album opener.

“Nothing to Lose” is an upbeat song with a great opening riff. the lyrical content is surprising for the 70s, but it’s easy to decipher the meaning behind the song. Gene handles the vocals for the verses, and Peter Criss takes over for the choruses, making a great combination. Another great solo from Ace brings the song together in great form. Also present on the song in a little bit of piano, which is a cool addition to the song.

“Firehouse” comes next, and it is a concert staple, usually where Gene does his fire-breathing. Gene’s bass line is rocking heavily here, and the vocals are fun to listen to with both Paul and Gene taking lead. “Cold Gin” features one of the greatest KISS riffs of all time, backed by another great bass line. Although Ace wrote the song, he was uncomfortable with his vocal ability, and allowed Gene to sing instead. Ace would sing this live in later years, and he kills it. Gene does a great job as well. The song itself is about gin and its powers to save a failing relationship.

“Let Me Know” is a forgotten song. It has a completely different makeup than the other songs, not featuring a chorus, and having both Gene and Paul on vocals, switching off on leads. It’s another up-tempo song and very fun to listen to. The coda, featuring an Ace solo, is magnificent. “Kissin’ Time” is also forgotten, but for the right reasons. It’s a weak song only written as a cash grab to sell the record after release. While the bass line is fun, the song itself is weak, the second weakest on the album. The song is about KISS becoming a nationwide sensation, which is true, but it’s just not memorable.

“Deuce” is a great song, although lyrically it means nothing. Again, the guitar riffs are memorable, the Ace solo is fantastic, and the vocals are impressive, especially in the second verse. Gene’s vocal range was quite strange back in the 70s, ranging from an eerie high to a dark low, and his high is in full force here. I only wish the song contained the ferocity it has live.

“Love Theme From KISS” is uninspired and forgettable. It’s just one riff repeated for over two minutes. “100,000 Years” is a great song, featuring more great riffs and a short drum solo leading into a second guitar solo.

The album ends with “Black Diamond,” easily a top 5 KISS song. It’s only downfall here is that it’s not as heavy as they play it live. It opens with an acoustic intro sung by Paul, going into the full band experience with Peter on lead vocals. Again, the vocal range of Paul and Gene are on display with their backing vocals, and Ace’s guitar playing is second to none here. The song ends with a fading solo, marked by long notes that get darker and darker.

KISS’s debut, while not the best album ever, was a solid attempt at bringing the KISS name to the spotlight, the biggest flaw in the music is that it doesn’t encapsulate the live KISS sound, and that takes away a lot from the music. Also, there’s nothing overly impressive about the band members themselves, but they are a cohesive unit. This album paved the way for KISS to become one of the biggest bands in history, and you can see why after one listen.

I rate KISS a solid 3.75/5

Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden

If there is one metal band that everyone on the face of this Earth needs to listen to, it is Iron Maiden. Featuring an amazing blend of musicianship, epic songs, lyrical content that always tells a story, and again, amazing musicianship, the band has consistently released amazing album after amazing album. Each of their first seven albums are classic, and now, I will look at their debut album.

At the time of the album’s release in 1980, the band consisted of vocalist Paul Di’Anno, bassist Steve Harris, guitarists Dennis Stratton and Dave Murray, and drummer Clive Burr. Only Stratton would not remain with the band after the album, but his guitar work is stellar for this sole release. The rest of the band shows off their burgeoning talent as musicians, and this album truly encompasses what heavy metal was meant to be going into the 80’s.

The album doesn’t have the crisp sound that the following albums would: it’s raw and fierce, and yet it sounds just right for the band. Because of how tight the band sounds music wise, it’s easy to overlook the production quality (which in itself really isn’t bad). It’s this sort of distortion that paved the way for heavier metal down the road, but in this case, it made Iron Maiden sound more hardcore.

What’s important to note is the bass. Steve Harris is the founder of the band, and one of the primary songwriters for most of the songs. He is also an exemplary bassist, and his work is amazing. The guitarists, Murray and Stratton, showcase impressive skills, both in their riffs and technical solo skills. Of course, Dave Murray has remained in Iron Maiden since its inception, and this Iron Maiden shows how cohesive him and Harris are as a guitar and bass tandem.

Clive Burr also impresses on the drums, and his technical drumming skills show off both speed and versatility. Unfortunately, he would only remain in the band for a couple more albums before being fired, and was eventually diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Paul Di’Anno’s vocals, if you compare them to long time vocalist Bruce Dickinson, are sharper and more raw, and yet they fit with the music. The grit of his voice truly reinforces the songs.

Now into the album itself. Opening up with “Prowler,” the band launches into their extraordinary riffing that makes Iron Maiden so popular. About a third through, the song breaks down into faster riffing and solos that immediately will blow a first time listener away.

“Remember Tomorrow” takes a softer approach to the music, creating a surrealistic sound, close to a ballad, yet not, and Di’Anno provides the low keyed vocals to accompany the eerie bass riff. Then, as the music gains in volume, Di’Anno does as well, dropping back down when the music does.

Next is the iconic “Running Free,” a song about being a young man running wild and free. Yet again, the riffing in the song is genius, and any listener will groove along to the song. After is “Phantom of the Opera,” based off the play, and one of my favorite songs ever. This song shows off the pure songwriting chaps of the band and is a precursor to their later epic songs. The guitar is epic, the vocal harmonies during the chorus are also quite epic, and the drumming is high octane and thoroughly impressive.

“Transylvania” is a great instrumental that Murray and Stratton use to display their soloing, and they do it well. “Strange World” is a bit of a downer song to me, the one only real weak song on the album. It’s reminiscent of “Remember Tomorrow,” but not as driven. “Sanctuary,” included on the 1995 re-release, speeds things back up and is a fun song to listen to. It’s raw and aggressive, and you’ll be headbanging to it every time. Out of every song, “Sanctuary” may be the one that truly reveals the punk-influences of the band, and how well they work for the music they made.

Finally, we have “Charlotte the Harlot,” a song about the titled woman and her womanly charms. The chorus is powerful, with the singer wanting to take Charlotte to bed, and the vocals are aggressive with a hint of desire within. The guitar solos are also great. Last but not least: “Iron Maiden” off of Iron Maiden, by Iron Maiden. Iconic, full of energy, with a breakdown including a great bass riff and short drum solo, and an outro that would be the concert staple for years to come, this song perfectly ends the album with a bang.

Iron Maiden’s debut was huge for heavy metal. Metal needed an aggressive sound to kick start the genre again, and Iron Maiden provided this sound, infusing punk and prog to propel the New Wave of British Heavy Metal into the mainstream. While not their best album overall, Iron Maiden is a pillar of heavy metal and needs to be appreciated by all, whether they like metal or not, as a masterpiece.

I rate Iron Maiden a 4.5/5. Listen and headbang all night long.

Van Halen – Van Halen

Let’s go back to 1978, when hard rock was burgeoning into a leviathan of music, and with the 80’s on the horizon. Around this time, the guitar was becoming a shredders paradise: Jimi helped popularize the trend of the shredding guitarist with his on stage mastery of the instrument. However, Eddie Van Halen would truly revolutionize the guitar for the mainstream audience within the debut album for his band.

Van Halen consisted of brothers Eddie and Alex on guitar and drums respectively, Michael Anthony on bass, and David Lee Roth on vocals. This talented group would be discovered in the Hollywood clubs by Ted Templeman and would secure a record contract in just under a week afterwards. This album was the result, and while initial reception was negative, overtime it has been recognized as a pillar of rock.

What’s important about Van Halen is that many of the band’s signature songs came off this album: “Runnin’ With the Devil,” “Eruption,” “Feel You’re Love Tonight,” and “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love,” are the big examples. These songs have been staples of rock radio for decades, and that shows how much of an impact the band had.

Opening the album is “Runnin’ With the Devil,” and from the introductory sirens to the thumping bass riff of Michael Anthony’s, you can tell this is going to be an epic song. The song itself is nothing to technical, but the riffage is what makes Van Halen epic. These are the AC/DC sort of riffs that anyone can recognize. Then, David Lee Roth’s vocals hit, and while he waas never the greatest singer, the vocals for the time are interesting, providing a high pitched scream with more melodic singing. It’s a strange dichotomy with the music that works wonders.

Then, “Eruption” hits. Originally, this “song” wasn’t supposed to be on the album, but Templeman heard Eddie play this in studio to warm up, and he wanted it on the record. This song is the true showcase of the shred guitarist. Showcasing Eddie’s fast riffing, tremolo picking, and finally the “two handed” finger tapping, this song, and others on the album complimenting his skills, popularized how guitar would be played in the 80’s ad beyond. Segueing into a cover of The Kink’s “You Really Got Me,” the band shows their hard rocking prowess with their fast re-imagination of the song.

Then you have the radio-popular songs of “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love,” “Jamie’s Cryin’,” and “Feel You’re Love Tonight,” interlaced with two of my all time favorites: “I’m The One” and “Atomic Punk.” The three radio songs showcase the riffs that made Van Halen huge: jumping guitar riffs that you can air guitar along to, great drums and bass as the perfect backbones to the songs, and Roth’s soaring vocals meshing everything together. Also of note, the guitar solo in “Feel You’re Love Tonight” is truly amazing.

However, I must talk about “I’m The One” and “Atomic Punk.” “I’m The One” is my favorite Van Halen song of all time. The main riff is spectacular, a funky and fast riff that I dance to every time. The guitar work is amazing, and the solos are out of this world. Eddie combines everything: fast picking, tapping, all of that, especially in the outro. The bass and drums keep that funky beat alive and kicking, and the vocals bring it all together. The harmony vocal bridge will have you sing along no matter what. “Atomic Punk” is another funky song, with cool guitar sounds with the intro riff and solos, and the verse riffs are cool as well. Dave’s vocals reach an awesome high at the end as well.

The final three songs end the album strong. Unfortunately, “Little Dreamer” is usually forgotten among this album, but it’s a great song. It’s soft and very wavy, like floating along the sea or in the clouds. Dave’s vocals are sultry and calm, almost sad in a way. “Ice Cream Man” starts off acoustic and ends with raging guitars and bass, and again, the vocal harmonies are awesome. Finally, “On Fire” shows that the band ends on fire. The vocal harmonies between Roth and Michael Anthony, especially in the chorus, are epic, and their high notes will blow you away. The instrumentation is grand as well, providing an excellent finale to a remarkable album.

There is not one bad song on the album, although I’ll admit “Little Dreamer” could be forgotten due to it’s slower pace compared to the other songs. However, every song is great, with not a flaw among them. The guitar of course is out of this world, the bass is tight, the drums kick it up a notch, and whether you are a fan of Roth’s vocal style or not, you have to admit that they compliment the music perfectly. Van Halen was revolutionary at its time, and after one listen, anyone can see why.

This album is rated a perfect 5/5. You need to listen to this record.

At Sixes And Sevens – Sirenia

Metal is one of the most overlooked genre’s of music around. When most people think of metal they think of heavy distortion, screaming vocals, and satanic images. However, there is a lot more to metal than that: Sirenia is proof of that, and their debut album At Sixes and Sevens is a testament to what metal really is.

Sirenia is a Gothic Metal band, which is a mixture of doom metal and gothic rock. It’s a combination of the heavy and slow sound of metal with the melancholy and gloom of gothic music to create what I believe is a truly epic sound. Not only that, but Gothic metal can include any sort of instrument: Sirenia features keyboards and a violin in addition to the normal metal instruments. Led by Gothic Metal pioneer Morten Veland, Sirenia created a very ambitious debut album that shines on all accounts.

One other important thing to note about Gothic Metal are the vocals. With this kind of metal (as well as a few other variations), the vocals are a mixture of both harsh and clean male vocals and female vocals. This style is known as “beauty and the beast” and is prominent on the album.

The opening track “Meridian” starts off heavy and melodic, a great example of what Gothic metal is all about. The song really exemplifies what Morten Veland wanted to get out of this project, and it exceeds expectations. What’s important to note from just this song are as follows: the mixture of the male and female vocals, including the addition of the choir, the mixture of guitar leads and keyboard leads, and the use of the violin during lulls in the music to add variation. the end of the song is powerful and one of the most varied pieces of music I have ever heard, ranging from a choral and violin lead to a chugging guitar riff, and back into the quickened pace of the chorus, ending with a ringing chord. It’s beautiful in my opinion.

“Sister Nightfall” continues this awesome blend with a sweet intro and main riff before converging into the verses and chorus. Again, this song shows the versatility of Gothic metal; instead of the harsh male vocals in “Meridian,” the verse is full of clean male and female vocals before having a harsh chorus. With “On the Wane,” the band has fun with riffs, including a keyboard riff built on a more xylophone sounding effect which is cool to hear in a metal sound. It perfectly meshes with the heaviness of the rest of the song. “On the Wane” also features one of the few violin solos on the album. Yes, a violin solo in a metal song. “In a Manica” also features a combination of riffs, including a violin-driven riff.

The title track  begins acoustically and picks up after the intro. The keyboard outro is fantastic as well. “Lethargica” is a slower song that is really nothing special in my opinion. Honestly, these two songs are the weakest on the album, but that doesn’t mean there are bad. They’re good, but not as memorable as other songs.

“Manic Aeon” is my favorite song off the album, featuring both soft and heavy guitar parts, both great harsh and clean vocals, great choral parts, and of course, some violin. This time there are two small violin solos, variations off of each other, and both are so awesome to listen to. Hopefully hearing about more violin had convinced you to listen to this is nothing else has. Plus, the female vocals really shine here, with a very angelic feel to them for the little time they are present. Finally, the keyboard riffs are well done.

“A Shadow of Your Own” is a more anthemic sounding song than the others, featuring more guitar hooks than previous iterations and great male vocals, culminating in an epic chorus featuring the choir. Finally, “In Summerian Haze” in an acoustic finale, led by the violin in many places and lead female vocals. This is the only song without harsh vocals.

At Sixes and Sevens is a very ambitions album that hits all of the right notes. Morten Veland succeeds in creation an ethereal album, and the band behind the music succeeds in making his vision a reality. While I said above that there were two weal songs on the album, there truly isn’t a bad song. The mood of the album may bring someone down, but the sound truly is more eccentric that the genre would make you think. truly, this is a spectacular album that more people need to listen to.

I rate this album a 4.5/5.

Old Friends From Young Years – Papa Roach

I’m  sure that most people believe that Papa Roach’s album Infest (with hit single Last Resort) was their debut album. And that makes sense; it was when they became big. However, that was only their record label debut album; in fact, Infest was their second album overall. Their first was called Old Friends From Young Years, and it was independently produced and released in 1997, three years before Infest. While this album is not as good as their second, and while many may think this album is downright awful, it’s not.

Upon my first listen, I believed that this was the worst album I had ever heard. The production quality is atrocious in many spots, shoddy in the rest, the drums are over-powering, the vocals are super grainy, and overall, the album just sounds like crap. However, upon a second listen, and without thinking about the production, but rather the musicianship underneath the sound, this album actually isn’t bad. In fact, it’s a good precursor to their later albums; an indication of the talent these guys have.

What’s important to note is that in 1997, these musicians would barely be out of their teens, and I believe that half of them (especially lead singer Jacoby Shaddix) led troubled teenage lives. These songs are representative of their times, being angry and hateful, harsh and yet oddly melodic. The lyrical content ranges from songs of violence and depression to downright humorous subjects.

The albums starts off with a short intro track featuring a short acoustic solo by guitarist Jerry Horton before plunging into the anger and hate marked by the late 1990s. Again, behind the crappy production is some talented musicianship. The songs are all catchy, with great hooks and riffs from the guitar and bass, and speaking of the bass, Tobin Esperance plays some awesome bass lines. Examples include “Liquid Diet,” DIRTYcutFREAK,” and “Living Room.” The drums are pounding throughout, showing of Dave Buckner’s skills; though not really fast or technically amazing, he is a solid backbone for the songs. Finally, you have the singing style of Jacoby Shaddix. As this album is representative of both the nu-metal and rap-metal genres, his singing reflects that, going from melodic singing to harsh and angry raps. Neither are the best of their craft, but he pulls off each with gusto, and again, serve as a good precursor to the future.

Speaking of the songs, one of the most interesting things about the album is the song titles. They are juvenile in both font and name, and yet they show off the kind of music that these kids are playing. Titles include the normal like “Orange Drive Palms” and “829” to the more inane like “Peewagon” and “Hedake.”

Their are only a couple of real misses on the album. the first is “Living Room” which is just an instrumental jam song. Unfortunately, it is slow-paced and plodding, with very little variation in the music for a solid 4 minutes. Yes, maybe it’s a good break from the harshness of the rest of the album, but it could have been more varied and a little more introspective into the skills of the instrumentalists. “Thanx” is another miss: this “song” is just the band thanking a whole lot of people while Buckner plays a backbeat. While the thank you’s can be funny in nature, it’s unnecessary to have.

Finally, there is “Unlisted.” This “thing,” cause its not a song at all, really ends the album on a crappy note. All this is, is an old recording of Tobin Esperance singing happy birthday a few times to his father on a phone’s answering machine. It’s the most useless and unnecessary thing I have ever seen on an album, and this threw me off so much. The “Fan Club” edition of this album replaced the last two tracks with a demo of “Tightrope” which I have not heard, but it can’t be bad.

Overall, the album is pretty good besides the production. The songs are catchy and angry, and they pave the way for what Papa Roach will sound like for the next two albums afterward. The tracks I highlighted are the only bad ones, as each good track is full of good riffs and hooks that will have you bang your head (and maybe punch something).

I rate this album a 3.5/5.

Captain Morgan’s Revenge – Alestorm

Have you ever heard of a music band that sing like and about pirates? Would you like to know of a band that sings like and about pirates? Well, you’re in luck, because Alestorm exists! Officially labeled as a folk metal band, there landlubbers are pirates in the musical world, singing shanties about voyages on the high seas, plundering and pillaging, and wenches, many wenches.

With their debut album Captain Morgan’s Revenge, Alestorm delivers a thrashing performance. Right from the opening of “Over The Seas” you get a real pirate vibe from the band, and by the time the vocals kick in, you are banging your head. The vocals themselves are sang in a low, grizzly pitch, with vocalist Chris Bowes putting on a very convincing pirate tone and growl. You’d think that these guys are really pirates (because they most likely are).

The band is full of impressive musicians. As mentioned before, you have Chris Bowes as the vocalist, but he also plays the keyboards, which provide the melodic pirate sound. Guitarist Gavin Harper and bassist Dani Evans provide the metal backbone, a real heavy sound to compliment the airy keyboards. Session drummer Migo Wagner’s drumming is fast and intense, driving every song along. Both the guitar and keyboard have solos throughout the album, and they are an impressive showing of skill.

Starting with “Over The Seas” you have the keyboard providing the melody with the guitar and bass hitting the heavy chords, and with the main verse, the band really plunges into the depth of their music. They hit all of the right notes for the first song, driving home the fact that they are a pirate metal band and are here to entertain for a solid hour of folk metal. This was the first song that I heard from them, and I was instantly hooked, and you will be too once you listen to it.

“Captain Morgan’s Revenge” begins with a killer drum solo that leads into fast and furious guitar strumming. The song itself is about a crew who commits mutiny against their captain, and eventually lead themselves to their deaths. It’s an intense song title track that continues this awesome metal trend. “The Huntmaster” has a beautiful guitar and keyboard main riff, that really starts the song off with a bang. The awesomeness keeps going with the rest of the song.

The tempo slows down for “Nancy The Tavern Wench,” a song about Nancy, obviously. The chorus is amazing, and will have you singing along with the rest of the band. The guitar solo is also one of the best on the album, slow but technical. From there, the next couple of songs are a little weaker than the previous four, though they are all good fun.

“Of Treasure” is the one real clunker in the whole set. It’s slow paced like “Nancy” but its also acoustic, and while I do enjoy acoustic songs, it does not work for Alestorm. It is such a huge departure from the other songs that it feels almost tacked onto the album, like they needed something other than metal. “Flowers Of Scotland” is also a bit of a clunker in my opinion, but since it is an unofficial anthem of Scotland, it is a cool rendition.

In between those two songs is “Wenches and Mead,” a song about the names subjects, and probably my favorite on the album. Everything clicks in this song, beginning with an awesome keyboard hook and an amazing guitar and keys riff for the main riff. The  vocals are cool, and the chorus is anthemic. I have to sing along every time. There’s no solo, but the band makes up for it with more great riffs.

Of course, you will need a good sense of humor to listen to Alestorm, since none of the songs are serious in any way. Plus, you can tell they are inexperienced in songwriting and their playing can be a little stiff and uninspired at times. Again, even though “Wenches and Mead” is my favorite, it is very simplistic in lyrics; in fact, a good chunk of the songs are. But don’t let that deter you.

Although Alestorm isn’t the first pirate metal band, they have truly adopted the moniker as their own, and with their debut album, they fly the jolly roger high. While it’s not the most complex album, it is one of the funnest albums to listen to, and it will make a pirate out of you too.

I rate Captain Morgan’s Revenge a 4/5.